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Christabella

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fandom_muses #40 [Monday, October 2nd, 2006 @ 2:30pm]

There is so little room for trust outside of the walls of the church. We have scarcely been able to recall a time where protection was offered anywhere else in Silent Hill. Could we have prevented this? Many believe so, and more still believe we can be redeemed. I know redemption comes after years of tribulations and trials...and that sacrifices must be made in the name of saving those who have earned such.

The only protection that can be offered now is that of the Lord himself. We are not permitted to demand anything of him, only to throw ourselves at his mercy and pray he will help our existance to continue. We do not have the right to specify how he assists us, we can only keep our souls open to his touch and wait for the time at which he will come and make things right.

I have never blinked in watching for him, never swayed in my devotion to him...those are the moments in which I know I am protected. To those who have sinned against his will I offer you my pity...for nothing can save you until you atone.

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fandom_muses topic #36 [Sunday, August 27th, 2006 @ 11:47pm]

Trust is the mother of deceit.

When the Darkness came to Silent Hill, there was no time for questioning as to why. No one cared about why, only about getting away from it despite the cost that might involve. Screams rang through the deserted streets for night as the few remaining citizens of what had once been a flourishing town began to fall victim to fears beyond comprehension.

It is during the time of greatest fear that desperation flares in the strongest of hearts. On the fifth night of the beginning of Silent Hill's terror those who still lived chose to accept desperation over death and give themselves up to the one deity which had remained as constant and strong as the horror that gripped their existance.

In the center of the town it stood, a beautifully sculpted pillar of belief and faith. And no Darkness great or small could pass through the threshold, be the doors open or closed. Slowly the word of this sanctuary coursed as though by a pulse through the souls still living and by nightfall the church was filled with everyone that still breathed.

When the souls crossed the threshold their condemnation was sealed. For they were placing their trust in the outstretched, caressing hands of she who would cultivate their lives and deaths as long as it was safety they sought. And the girl would be right. Every one was already dead .. but not yet did they recognize it.

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fandom_muses topic #32 [Friday, August 4th, 2006 @ 11:52pm]

My beloved,

I was at your window last night. Did you know I was there? I doubt it greatly. If you were within a breath's distance of me I would know your presence, but to you I am little more than a shadow in the night's cloak. So often do I watch you, and I realize the times you might have smiled are now long since passed. If only it were not for the child!

Darling, what a life we could have had together. What beauty, what bliss in our solitude together .. we would have needed no other but ourselves .. everything would be together as it should have been. In my darkest moments I still dream of those times, cradle them against the cavern where my heart had once resided and think of what might have been.

But it is no more now, beloved, and the only sanctuary we will find shall be in the Lord's embrace. And in time I swear to you, we will find that paradise. All that the Demon has done will fall away to ruin at our Lord's wishes and we shall be safe and blessed once more. Utopia will be ours .. yours and mine .. and we will be as we were meant to.

I believe in it .. and you should as well. Rest softly, my love .. it will all be over soon.

Christabella

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fandom_muses topic #30 [Thursday, July 27th, 2006 @ 5:09pm]

I've long since recognized the need for secrets. Living a closed existance, forbidden to an outside world's touch has made me see secrets are the only things we are allowed to call our own. If mine were to be discovered, I'd lose everything I'd worked so hard to gain.

But there must be, at all times, a place for confession.

My secret, my sin, is my love for a woman. She was beautiful beyond comprehension, I knew this when I was no older than fifteen and beginning my first serious years of scholarly study. I couldn't help but watch her as she moved and spoke, laughed and breathed, and my heart would not allow me to listen to my mind's conscious, vehement statements of retaliation. The words that told me I was wrong echoed against emptiness, and I wouldn't let myself stop feeling what I felt.

The consequences of these actions are immeasurable by time and events, but I take solace in the realization I am able to repent for the filth that has tainted my soul. Through my direction, my conduction of retributions and righteousness, the souls of Silent Hill are offered and afforded some vestige of protection from what rages outside. And what comes from outside is what she brought in herself, brought amongst our peace and tranquility.

I hold no guilt for loving her, for I know it was no more than the temptation of Satan to force me into pleasures of the flesh. As long as I remain pure .. no harm can come to me.

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fandom_muses #26 [Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:44am]

How far would you go to get something you really wanted?

Desire - lust, rather - has been considered one of the seven deadly sins by all that believe in them, therefore I do what I can to limit my feelings of covet to something near nonexistant. There is a danger in allowing one's own desires and feelings to come to the surface in that fashion. Where would we be in this world if we did not exercise any form of restraint, as we must?

But within everyone, even those with the purest of hearts and intentions, resides at least one thing they long for above all else. Something that .. holds no limitations in how far they would go to acquire it. And perhaps that in itself is a sign of weakness, but above all else .. it holds the key to deeper, more promising things.

When I first looked upon her, she was not an enigma but something greater than that itself. I wanted her, desired her, longed for whatever she was that I could possess .. and I know in my heart this is my sin. Try as I might to deny it from the Lord himself, His judgement will cast itself upon me for my impure thoughts and I will be left the same as those around me I so pity.

But this will only transpire if I allow myself to give in to these sorts of feelings .. to let go of the commitments I have made to our Lord, and this is the thing I will never do. I will not sacrifice the purity I spent so long attaining and making myself worthy of just for the physical desires and pleasures that so many succumb to. I will be greater than this .. regardless of what it might take otherwise. But to have her .. I believe I might possibly sacrifice everything I have ever built myself up to be .. if it only meant .. her.

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fandom_muses #23 [Monday, May 29th, 2006 @ 10:48pm]

Write about pain.

There was a moment, as there always is, when she knew her life had taken a permanent change. Looking back it was simple enough to recognize, but she had aged and wizened several years and had not known at that time more than a mere fraction than what she did now. Perhaps the outcome would have been different, had she been enlightened with the consequences that would derive from her actions.

It was the moment her heart was broken. While many believe heartbreak is a sensationalized form of obtaining attention and sympathy enacted by those who wish for the attention they are deprived of, this sort of raw aching was in fact real. It is not often a woman feels the cold pain of rejection, nor is it often that it is inflicted upon her time and again within a short span of moments. So truly it was of little wonder to anyone that wished to learn it that Christabella became what she was. It was a long, intricate string of elaborate events that, when woven together, revealed the tapestry of her life.

When she had first seen the gleam of red-gold hair she was nothing more than a teenage girl. Family had abandoned her, no friends existed to comfort her and provide companionship. The only solace she could take was found within dreams and within studies. The latter had proven a greater comfort, for when dreams were dashed and torn away from her wanting grasp, the facts and studies never once lied.

Pain had been inflicted on her heart, and it was the presence of that same pain that would bring about the actions of the future. For when Christabella was at last able to look past the aching of her own heart, it was clear what the outcome would be.

Unfortunately, not another soul in Silent Hill would ever comprehend the magnitude of what she had suffered. That in itself would lead to a destruction far greater than anyone anticipated...

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